What I wish I had done before I had an abortion - Zoe Wong
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Regan King has been visiting local churches with a talk, ‘Abortion: The New Slave Trade?’ In these talks, Regan draws comparisons between the 18th and 19th century slave trade and the modern-day abortion industry. Highlighting the most recent abortion statistics, Regan addresses key areas of discrimination within the abortion industry and calls for abortion to, like slavery, be abolished. Zoe had an abortion a few years ago and attended Regan’s most recent talk. Here, she shares her story.
Abort abort abort! This is something a captain might say on a mission that has gone terribly wrong. Abort the plan because the timing is bad and there will be extensive losses from continuing on. The aim is then to get out the situation as quickly as possible. Abort abort abort.
Like most British schoolchildren, I was pretty bored in Religious Education classes. But I did think it was odd at 12 years old having to decide if I was pro-life or pro-choice. I remember thinking that I wasn't religious so it didn't really matter and with so many women having abortions, they can't all be wrong can they?
Little did I know that 10 years later I'd go down that route. It wasn't in my plan to have a baby at that time. But I did want to get married and have a family. I just didn't know how to get that kind of commitment. Getting pregnant was definitely one way to find out the status of my relationship. And I soon found out it was unstable but so was I.
With this new realization, how could I bring a baby into the world? I’d have to struggle. Like really struggle. As I played it out in the theatre of my mind, even if the father of my child would marry me, I couldn't see my happily ever after.
So I decided, my body, my choice. Better to be safe than sorry. It’s not the right time, I'm still young. Catchy little phrases like that got me to the abortion clinic.
It seemed like whatever semblance of a life plan I had, had gone wrong and I needed to take back control. So despite being scared and knowing very little about what was going to happen, I had the abortion. After 8 weeks I joined the 55% of women who still felt terrible guilt and emptiness. I felt my life was a mess. And it was.
That guilt would carry on another 10 years to this day. I vowed never to have another abortion. This wasn't like taking the morning after pill or thinking of an abortion as contraception. The vivid trauma was far worse than I expected. The overwhelming sense of loss after the procedure told me that this can't be right. I could have joined the 49% of traumatized abortees in escaping into drug abuse or 80% who carry self-hatred for poor life decisions. Of course there is no turning back time for any of us but I needed a new plan.
What I didn't know was that there already was a perfect plan. A tried and tested blueprint for women in my exact situation. I'd been in enough dead end relationships to know that there was something inside of me that was broken and it was getting worse over time. So I was prepared to throw out my old plan and try something else. What I wish I had known was that the shadow of a biblical plan for marriage and a happy family was what I was chasing. Yet I wanted the end result without committing to any set of religious rules. Just like my twice divorced mother had been chasing. Although my mother did her best, I was subconsciously programmed to follow a broken model for relationships. Why...because we look up. Except if we only look up high enough to our parents for a good relationships, we are going to be disappointed because they are not perfect. They mess up, they make mistakes and can have abortions themselves. It's the blind leading the blind.
Only one thing can break the cycle of destruction. Not our parents plan. Not society's plan, not even our own made up plan. There's only one plan that works into create intact, holy, happy families. Following God's plan as best we can.
In conclusion here’s a list of the things I wish I had done before I had an abortion
- Looked at the facts surrounding abortion. Having an informed decision about the short and long term effects on my emotions and fertility.
- Had the courage to question the status quo. Just because other people do it doesn't mean that I need to experience it for myself.
- Checked out the definition of abortion and murder. What's the difference if they legalise it?
- Witnessing a healthy and intact family would have helped me see what's possible. Relying too much on my own hopes and imagination didn't show me the practical steps.
- Knowing God's and Jesus’ stance on abortion. What they think about children, marriage and family and why. Talking to a proper Christian would have been helpful.
- Had a support group who had my best interests at heart. Having encouragement to follow a better plan based in the Holy Bible could have saved me a lot of pain down the line.
- Found better role models other than celebrities and broken families to look up to. It's far too easy to get caught up in the world and a lot harder to break free of problems.
In summary I have always valued freedom to do anything. But not everything is good or beneficial for my future. 1 Cor 10:23. What looked to be a quick fix for a failed plan really needed a deep overhaul and rewiring.
My repentance was the beginning of something bigger than I am. A spiritual awakening that made me question is there a God and what does he want? What I've found is time and time again is…
God's plan is trustworthy and much better than anything I could knit together without him.
Thank you to the pastor Regan King who inspired me to write this to women. Please sit in on one of his informed talks at various churches across the country “Is abortion the new slave trade?".
The next dates for Abortion: The New Slave Trade?
Thursday, 22 March, Grace Baptist Church, Wood Green, 7 pm
Saturday 24 March, Grace Church, Southall, 11 am
If you would be interested in hosting this event please email regan.king@christianconcern.com
