Living together before tying the knot is more likely to lead to divorce, a study shows
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Couples living together before tying the knot are more likely to get divorced than those who wait until they were married, a study shows.Couples living together before tying the knot are more likely to get divorced than those who wait until they were married, a study shows.
The study, carried out by researchers from the University of Denver and published in the Journal of Family Psychology, reported that cohabiting before the marriage does a relationship more harm than good. A survey of over 1,000 married men and women in the US found those who moved in with a lover before engagement or marriage reported significantly lower quality marriages and a greater potential for splitting up than other couples.
About one-in-five of those who cohabited before getting engaged had since suggested divorce – compared with only 12 percent of those who only moved in together after getting engaged and 10 percent who did not cohabit prior to the wedding bells.
The participants, aged between 18 and 34, had been married ten years or fewer and were questioned about their relationship satisfaction, dedication to one another, level of negative communication and sexual satisfaction. To measure the potential of a couple to divorce they were also asked 'have you or your spouse ever seriously suggested the idea of divorce?'
(See The Daily Telegraph)
Psychologist Dr Galena Rhoades, a senior researcher for the Center for Marital and Family Studies in the Psychology Department of the University and study co-author, said:
‘We think that some couples who move in together without a clear commitment to marriage may wind up sliding into marriage partly because they are already cohabiting’.
Professor Scott Stanley, another researcher for the same study, suggested that making commitments clear before taking the most important decision is very important. He said:
'It seems wise to talk about commitment and what living together might mean for the future of the relationship before moving in together, especially because cohabiting likely makes it harder to break up compared to dating’.
More than 70 per cent of couples in the United States live together before marrying, according to the article.
In the United Kingdom more than three quarters of couples live together before marriage - and one child in four is born to unmarried parents who are cohabiting.
In a separate study that appeared in the Journal of Family Issues in February 2009, the researchers studied the reasons why couples decided to live together. The most common answer was because they wanted to spend more time together (60%), followed by financial convenience (19%), followed by testing the relationship (14%).
Earlier research suggested that people cohabited before marrying because they wanted to test their relationship.
Couples who listed ‘testing’ as the primary cohabitation reason were more likely than others to score high on measures of negative communication, such as, ‘My partner criticizes or belittles my opinions, feelings, or desires.’
Dr Rhoades said:
‘Cohabiting to test a relationship turns out to be associated with the most problems in relationships. Perhaps if a person is feeling a need to test the relationship, he or she already knows some important information about how a relationship may go over time.’
In September 2005, the Canadian Vanier Institute of Family and researcher Anne-Marie Ambert, conducted a study entitled Cohabitation and Marriage: How Are They Related? The study examined the social, emotional and financial effects of cohabitation and marriage on women, men, children and society and revealed that it comes with a heavy cost. It indicated that cohabitation by its nature is highly unstable, that it leads to higher divorce rates, and is detrimental to children both psychologically and physically.
Ms Ambert said that ‘commitment and stability are at the core of children’s needs; yet, in a great proportion of cohabitations, these two requirements are absent’.
In May 2002, researchers S. Salari and B. Baldwin, published their research in the Journal of Family Issues (Verbal, Physical, and Injurious Aggression Among Intimate Couples Over Time) showing that cohabitation breeds abuse (including abuse of children), violence, and murder. They also showed that the rates of serious abuse are lowest in intact families; six times higher in stepfamilies; 14 times higher in always-single-mother families; 20 times higher in cohabiting biological-parent families; and 33 times higher when the mother is cohabiting with a boyfriend who is not the biological father. In addition, compared to a married woman, a cohabiting woman is three times more likely to experience physical aggression.
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